In A Shithole Nation Called Ghana, We Don’t Even Honor Our Criminals Properly

Tiger Woods Mugshot

If I were one of ‘The Perfect Seven’(TPS) who have been accused to have fled, or if any of my family members were part of those missing; I’d have been at my lawyer’s house assisting him to prepare a writ/suit against the police for gross negligence.

But before I think it worthy of my time to give reasons or not why our policemen are not even fit for a joke, bear with me on the issue of their birdbrained one-pager of near waste.

The moment I saw the press statement being circulated by citizens of Ghana on social media, I knew another fooling was in the offing.

So, as is synonymous with my idle hands, I downloaded and zoomed in to not just read and understand the shithole press statement from a terminally steeped in shitholeness Ghana Police Farce.I looked for f**kery – and eureka!

Guys, amidst the literature of sentences meant to provoke Ghanaians into stopping whatever we are doing with our sorry lives and go scrounging ratholes and termite houses for the good men who have absconded the Kwabenya cell, the police failed woefully with the wording.

The letter titled “ Seven Inmates Escape From Kwabenya Police Cells” pronounces TPS as suspects.

Missing from Police Cells in Ghana

Suspects of what? Of course, they are being held for a reason. But do these lucky-to-be-alive Police Officers know who a fugitive is? Unless they have evidence to implicate TPS as being party to the cell break, how are we the public to share in their old tag name?

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Is it impossible that any or all the men have been abducted against their will?

The letter does capture the bit about armed men barging into the Police Station to pluck the criminals out and vanishing into thin air. . .

And why not?

“S3 w’agyime aa, na mi ti wo ho”( to wit, if you are dumb, why do I stick with you).

You see, if any or all members of TPS who cannot be accounted for by the State is complicit in the abduction/escape, it was buoyed by Intel from the inside.

Lapses, ladies and gentlemen cocooned in this shithole christened Ghana, by our shitty trained Police informed the getaway planning and execution to the tragically successful end that we are now saddled with.

Universally acclaimed police procedure of taking mugshots of suspects – or to dumb ‘mugshots’ down – the act of taking passport size photos of suspects by police personnel in non-shithol territories is as basic and routine as the way African heads of States seek medical treatment abroad.

I know the issue of malfunctioning camera gadgets or cases of cameras stolen/vanished from police custody is rife and soaring.

But in this day of Ghanaian police officers being paid by the single spine pay structure, who doesn’t own a smartphone? A normal knob head would muse “ what has a police officer’s phone got to do with the escape or abduction of criminals”.

Ghana Police Statment

Fellas, when I first saw the photos purported to be those of the fugitives/kidnapped from the Kwabenya cell, my disappointment hit a new low.

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So in my illiteracy, I googled ‘mugshot’. . . Lou and behold, the first item Wikipedia popped for my consideration had an accompanying photo of a certain Tiger Woods!
Not that the legendary world acclaimed golfer had stolen or killed anything o, it was taken when he was picked up by police in a non-shithole country last year for driving under the influence of drugs.

As part of non-shithole police work that places premium on life and property, his mugshot/passport sized photos were taken at the Palm Beach County Jail in Florida.

Now guess Mr Woods’s crime : he was found asleep at the wheel by Jupiter (Fla.) Police. Woods failed a field sobriety test, according to the police report, but blew an 0.00 in a breath analysis test.

Woods was cited for driving under the influence and improper parking/stopping.

Missing from Police Cells

My fellow Ghanaians, the men who have fled or have been abducted from police custody are roaming free because the other men who we fend and have trained to be professional crime busters are a complete waste of our time.

But hey, considering the fact that we don’t want to admit the truth about our ‘shitholeness’, I am convinced that we deserve each other.

Break a leg somebody!

@Uhurubardman

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