How Far is ‘Too Far’? | My Friends Say One Night Stands Shouldn’t Count As Too Far

A couple of nights ago I was enjoying a relaxing evening with a few of my friends, and after several intense albeit jovial discussions on a whole range of issues, the topic reared its head towards the subject of relationships.

One of my male friends made an off-the-cuff remark along the lines of “I wouldn’t mind if my girl had a one-night stand cause it’s just a one off thing, no emotions are involved”.

I have to say, I was actually astounded- not just because of the comment, but because of how many (surprisingly) of my other friends (both male and female) concurred with his statement.

This assertion led to one of my other friends (also a male interestingly enough) to comment “No way, if my girl was to even hold hands with another guy, there would be problems”.

I found it highly intriguing, and equally amusing, that people have such differing opinions as to what their perception of ‘cheating’ is.

To be honest, I agree with my latter friend- if my partner was to hold hands with another female- that was not his grandmother, mother or aunties (his sisters are grown and strong women so even they don’t count)- I would feel some trepidation.

I believe that when you’re in a relationship (not a situationship) but a committed relationship, there’s just certain things you cannot and should not do.

For those of you wondering what a ‘situationship’ is, it’s the “oh we’re not officially boyfriend and girlfriend- we’re just seeing each other” type of scenario. Participants of situationships can’t really say what is acceptable or not as you guys don’t really belong to each other “officially”. However, when you are in a committed relationship where you both claim each other, certain things should be off limits.

As previously mentioned, I would have problems with my partner holding hands with another female (why?). I mean if she had hurt herself I still don’t think it’s acceptable (is my man a paramedic? – no so it’s not necessary).

I have no qualms about my partner having female friends (I’m not that much of a bunny boiler), however, I would not be happy with female friends making particular requests of my partner or calling them after certain hours. When myself (and a few others) agreed with my male friend who had remarked that he would have issues with another guy even holding his partner’s hands, we were called crazy, possessive, bunny boilers, etc.

Nonetheless, I still feel justified in thinking that when you are in a relationship, even holding someone of the opposite sex’s hand is going too far.

I’m curious to know your input on this- when in a relationship, what do you class as acceptable and unacceptable? How far is too far?