When I was growing up, getting access to any adult movie was as difficult as getting hold of cocaine—even those half n*ked magazines were forbidden to be seen by the boys, let alone the girls.
With curiosity being a hallmark of most teenagers, I managed to watch some adult movies with my female friends and later, with my boyfriend when I turned 18. It was not much of a turn-on for me and I couldn’t believe most of the objects these women used in the movies…
By the age of 17, I knew a lot about s*x toys through the many adult movies I had seen but I had not touched a toy by then and did not even contemplate about owning one—what for?
Even in my early 20s, I did not see myself buying any of the many sex toys that were in the shops (I occasionally walked into them just to spy) and to be frank, most looked so huge I wondered if they would not push a woman’s womb far deeper if used.
Once again, I had no need for this because I had a boyfriend and even though we had occasional sex; that was never on my mind—and he had to always convince me somehow to get me into taking off my clothes.
Of course I enjoyed such moments with him but I was never the initiator—I only played along when it became necessary and he begged for it.
By 25 I had broken up with 4 men already for their unfaithfulness and perhaps, my stubbornness, they will say too. I decided not to bother with any man again—and held that, the next man I jump into a relationship with would be that man I will marry.
For a year, I went without a man and without sex except the occasional shower head water thing which some women do. As a human being, I couldn’t totally escape the horny-ness but I dealt with it my own ways whenever it became unbearable. The fingers and the water were enough—but this was just for a short time.
My single life was full of a lot of ‘me time’ in bed—and this gave me a lot of time to watch many adult movies—searched for and played by myself. The first time I did it on my own was a little awkward but with time, it became normal…
During one of my friend’s birthday, I stayed with a friend who lived close to her so we could attend the party together and catch a taxi at a low cost to my friend’s place.
While dressing up for the party in my friend’s room (she was in the shower), I needed a nail cutter and when I opened a little bag which looked like an accessories bag, my jaw nearly fell down—it was full of many sex toys, different sizes and colours.
My friend had a boyfriend and she still had these numerous toys; I said to myself. It’s not that I had not in the past thought about purchasing some during those lonely times made worse by the adult movie I occasionally watched, but I didn’t have the courage to walk into a shop and pick one. I did not even know which to buy and how heavy or light a toy would be.
But after seeing my friend’s collection, that sort of gave me the needed courage that, I could get some as my little secret as she seems to have done but hide it well so no one finds mine. I decided to get two (one small and another big) the next day and even though I walked into the shop, I chickened out—I couldn’t just buy any. I was too shy to make a pick and walk to the till with it.
So I went for the less embarrassing avenue—made my first purchase online and within 2 days, my first two toys were delivered by a man who probably didn’t know what he was handing over to me at the door.
I was on my way to work when the box came so I placed it in my wardrobe after I had wrapped it up with a towel—as if someone was going to come into my room and open the box.
While at work, I thought about my parcel which was at home and often wondered if this was in anyway going to make my sex life better or make it worse. I knew of some silly stories of women getting hooked on such toys to the extent that, they turned into lesbians or became less interested in men.
I wanted to have kids in life so that scared the hell out of me—but it didn’t seem like I had any way out; the goods had already been delivered awaiting usage.
My first night with the two toys was full of awkward and exciting moments but with time, they became by good friends—and faithful partners.
Today, I have a man and 1 child and a lot has changed about me—but my toys have stayed with me except that their numbers have increased. Almost all my female friends have some sort of toys which their partners know about…
Our men are important to us so are these toys who for many years have been faithful to pleasing us without asking for anything in return. The toy taboo is gradually disappearing from our conversation—paving way for more women to own as many as they want and the men seem to have no problems with these amazing companions.
For me; sex toys have somewhat become the new most faithful partners of women and I am glad the thick taboos surrounding them seem to be eroding from our societies…
What has your experience been?