Over the years, social media has succeeded in creating new groups of people, with “Slay Queens” and those Chris-Vincent Agyapong contemptuously called “Yaanom” being some assemblies of these people.
Arguably, social media is inherently shallow and each of the platforms glorifies a lot of nonsense, equip idle people with a tool to remain busy in their idleness and its equal playing field enables people to rock shoulders with each other, on the back of a widespread false sense of equality and virtual deception.
Of course, the connectivity the various social media platforms such as Facebook offers, if well used, makes significant impacts on the lives of people. Many large and small businesses, as well as groups of people, are thriving, courtesy of the new age of social media. Also, many units of people have emerged to push for common agenda and assist each other—with great end results.
Therefore, social media is a two edge-cutting sword—the platforms can be highly destructive and at the same time, astronomically beneficial. It certainly depends on what the user intends to use the available platforms for.
A few weeks ago, a friend mentioned that she had been added to a Ghanaian Facebook Group, which we later got the name as “Mummihood” without her consent.
And she added that it wasn’t the fact that whenever she took herself out, she was re-added to the group without her consent that inflamed her, but the shallowness and unfettered absurdity of the conversations the group members binge on, which she was being somewhat forced to be part kept infuriating her.“It is one of the many annoying Facebook private groups that people pull you into—only for you to find out the sort of bitterness and frivolity that grow there, simply because a lot of people, mostly women are bored with their lives and are idle,” she said.
Knowing about positive life-changing stories made possible by Facebook and often through the strength of connectivity it offers, we became interested that a booming group said to be formed by Ghanaian women, couldn’t focus on driving empowering discussions or ideas but has once again become a boulevard to the usual destination–trashing men in the typical complaint manner, “my husband has done this and my boyfriend has done that.”
The secrecy surrounding the group, perhaps heightened our interest. What we were initially told sounded like a closed door of bitter, idle or bored women, with a lot of time on their hands unknowingly tearing each other apart with negative stories about men and dishing out reckless pieces of advice to each other.
And there was a layer of confusion, on top of the secrecy. Some people we found in the group including others who had left, argued that it was a feminist group.
The strategy of gaining popularity and attracting “unstable” women by the so-called social media feminist groups is not alien to us. They largely boom on the back of trashing men instead of empowering women—and what we had heard about this group mirrored the image.
After weeks of investigating and reading on one of the many Ghanaian all-female private social media groups, it turned out that, “Mummihood” is a camp of gloomy women, calling themselves feminists—with men, as usual, being the lords of their daily conversations. It wasn’t anything like Mumsnet, an online gathering of women that’s well known for helping, inspiring and empower women.
The many conversations and replies we read brought us to the conclusion that, “Mummihood” is a platform for bored at home women, with a lot of time on their hands to whine and lambast men instead doing something meaningful with their time.
In fact, a group member confirmed the above. She said: “I don’t even know how I was added to the group but it has since served as a comic relief forum for me. These women are stupid to be writing the sort of things they write in there. It shows a lot of Ghanaian women are unhappy, lonely and have plenty of time on their hands. For a woman to come to a forum on the internet and discuss her marriage or relationship problems or seek advice from a bunch she does not know and whose answers are always layered with nonsense is pitiful.”
“I go there when I am bored each day to laugh,” she said—indirectly accepting that she’s a bored woman, probably the reason why she’s attracted to the group and find solace in the stories others like her share.
A prominent Ghanaian socialite who was also added into the group and pulled herself out after reading the driving contents of the group had this to say: “within 20 minutes of someone adding me to that group, I pulled out. You know I wouldn’t waste my time discussing men each minute and this is what the women, obviously with little education (because of the bad English they write and advice they gave) were all about.”
In the group, a member recently asked for advice in relation to her husband licking her anus. Another, asked the group members to join her in prayers because she was twins.
When a woman who claimed to be about 5 months pregnant asked for advice on her husband beating her in her pregnant state, this time, there was almost a consensus in the group that she hang in there with the abusive man—highlighting the irresponsibleness of the sort of advice served in the group.
And the group members seem to be social media attack dogs too, ready to attack and insult anyone who shares any disagreeing opinions about the group.
When Chris-Vincent Agyapong, a co-author of this piece said on Facebook that he was going to write on the group, he became the topic of the day in the group—with the members flooding his Facebook page to insult his wife (who doesn’t even know about their existence). A so-called feminist group, attacking the “innocent” wife of a writer, because of what the writer has written once again captures the ignorant use of the word “feminism” on social media.
At best, “this group serves as a platform where uneducated women talk about their darkest sexual desires, including f**king their husbands’ brothers, dating pastors who are hiding them—and solicit for relationship advice from a bunch of women on the internet, perhaps lunatics,” Jessica Long, a co-author in her wild attempt to find sort of positivity in the group said.